Not having a man staying with me is kinda hard because there are some things that I am accustomed to have my dad do like plumbing, changing the light bulbs, car stuff etc...

So now I have to get used to all this "vacancies" and try to do it because I know my mum don't know this kinda stuff. Like today, the car tyre went flat when my mum was sending me to college. Of course, I can change it - because I always observe my dad do it when I was young - but I wasn't sure of some stuff.

Like, I'm not sure where should I put the jack thingie because the last time I watched and helped my dad changed tyres was on the Pajero. So my mum and I had to wait for my cousin to come and help us.

So when he arrived, I helped out to change the tyres also and my cousin was like, "Wah, next time you can help change la." I was like, "I know, but I'm not sure about it. I learn through observing my dad do."

Even though I had to dirty my hands, I feel satisfied. I dunno why, guess I like to do this kinda stuff. Doing things and get dirty in the process. Maybe that's why I kinda like art. Haha!!

Two years passed since Daddy went back, but I still can't really get used to not having him around. Gosh, I'm being emotional. Anyway, I'm also grateful that I have the chance to follow him around and learn a few things from him.

Like changing tyres, knowing most of the roads in Kuching - though I don't really remember the road names but I kinda know how to get to certain places. I told this to Christine and I was shocked to know that she don't even know how to pump petrol, what more to say change a tyre! And to think she went to the drinving workshop and all!! So I am so grateful to Daddy for showing me how to do all this. If he were still around, I bet I'm already driving now but he's not.

I miss him. I miss going to places we used to go last time together. Though we always disagree with each other, I learned a lot of things from him. He's a hole in me that can never be filled but that doesn't mean that I'm not moving forward. I am. But it's not wrong to miss him. He's a part of me and it will never go away.